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June 01 2017

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Fit dog
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dang it bobby
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Nissan has invented self ‘parking’ chairs. [video]

@captaintoxrogers Trudy needs these 😂

what happens if u clap during the meeting

have you ever been to a meeting? nobody claps. nobody wants to be there. meetings are hell and clapping is the last thing you want to do.

but what if u knew clapping would make dickhead john from accounting spill his coffee on his stupid fucking tie

you know what i was wrong and you are right that would change everything this is revolutionary technology and i welcome it and its chances to fuck over eli from marketing hell fucking yea

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Cat rotate the Drum!

fancy steps
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oh dear lord...
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My favorite thing from the internet today.

this gem needs to be documented too

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Entire brick wall smoothed out by the ocean 

That’s some Dalí shit right there

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Sometimes I accidentally receive email intended for other people. 

I try to be helpful. 

(Meanwhile I haven’t replied to like the last six emails from actual family members. I’m the worst.) 


Jules replied to thank me for pointing out her error. She regrets to inform me that they already have an officiant: 

Then while attempting to send the wedding weekend accommodations email to the correct Ed she sent the original email to me again. 

I’m still trying to help: 

I haven’t heard from Jules since Friday so I suspect this is the end of our correspondence, but I’ll keep everyone posted. 

UPDATE! Pete and Jules’s big day is almost here! 


It seemed like the right thing to do for all the joy they’ve brought us. 

Oh my god oh my god oh my god! 

Pete and Jules sent me a thank you note! 

Complete with a very nice note: 

Aren’t they just the best? I should probably send them a thank you note to say thank you for the thank you note, shouldn’t I? 

Of course I should. 

God I fucking love the internet.

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is there ever that one celebrity that no matter what mood youre in, if you feel like crap you just see a picture of them and you just smile and think “thank you for existing” because they have made your day brighter even if you don’t really know them 

the correct answer is:


This is the correct answer. Did you know that when she finds out a studio has asked an actress to lose weight she contacts them and yells at them?

I did not know that, but I do remember an interview where she said she keeps her Oscar in her downstairs loo, because that’s the one her guests use, so they can just go use the loo and don’t have to ask if they can hold her Oscar. Plus then they’ve got the mirror so they can practice their acceptance speeches.

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I just saw this on Reddit today and I wanted to share it here.

When you’re a parent, you have to realize that the child you brought into this world is going to be their own person and you’ll have to start getting into things you may not understand and have ZERO interest in.

However, you damn well better act like you are.

I can still remember the feeling as a kid getting Pokemon Red and it being something I loved so much, so I wanted to share that with my mom. I wanted to show her my team, tell her about the gym leaders I took down, and she just took a glance at the Game Boy color and went “mmhhhmm”.

She gave zero shits when I beat Banjo-Kazooie, a game which was INCREDIBLY hard for grade school me and you can make me have war flashbacks if you so much as say “Rusty Bucket Bay”.

My town in Animal Crossing? Catching rare fish? Who cares?

I liked a cartoon series so much that I wrote little stories about it? “No, I don’t want to read it.”

This type of stuff matters to kids so damn much and she’ll never realize how much it hurt our relationship. It might not seem like a big deal she never sat down and watched me play something like Luigi’s Mansion, but that’s how kids try and bond with their parents.

After constantly being shot down they’ll eventually stop talking to you entirely. 

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